Tuesday, September 30, 2008

from the Cleveland Cat

about getting together...totally. the farther out we can get it on the calendar, the better. i'm on fall break the week after next, so if we could come up on a friday and then back on a sunday, that'd be best - i can probably take a personal day that friday if it works best for all cats or i can be in knoxville by 3:30 at the earliest. whenever in nov. or dec. is fine with me...i'm the only one without children or giving birth anytime soon so i'm flexible. :)

and anyssa should totally come!!!

i actually feel as though i have something worthwhile to contribute to one of the 'child/motherhood' discussions. byrd, you were mentioning your feelings right now about balancing TRH and ministering to your family. all of you know my mom and how she will do anything for anybody. since i've grown up, she has realized this about herself and has changed it. however, from the perspective of a child whose mother always seemed to be helping everyone else...it got old after a while. i can name a string of families/women who were an absolute mess that mom tried so hard to help. she spent time with them, counseled them, etc. and though i couldn't name it until i was older, it bugged me. it left me sometimes with a feeling of, "but what about us? what about me?" and i know my dad had a major issue with it...he felt like she put everyone and everything at church before him and us. now mom did SO MUCH for us and this is by no means an extreme case. but in fact, I remember one time within the last year that this issue arose...i can't put my finger on what the circumstances were but i remember eric and i and all fam were home and were ready to do something or go somewhere and were waiting on her, but she was off helping some wayward person or messed up family and all those feelings of "but what about us!? WE need you right now!" arose to the surface. It was the attitude of 'well, my family will understand' that bugged me. i hope that all makes sense and i definitely don't want anyone to think less of my mom...she is an amazing mother but this has been a struggle for her.

i don't know if i explained that well. she just gave so much and bent over backward for these people - trying to make it all work for everyone, but it just doesn't. someone gets left out...and it stunk when it was us. you know, when she'd be home later than she was supposed to be, or she wouldn't be home to make dinner on time because she was off doing this and that, or how she couldn't do things like have the garage sale we'd been talking about doing together forever because she was off helping someone else hold their garage sale. she definitely was self-sacrificing, but what happened was that by sacrificing so much of herself, she was sacrificing part of what we needed from her. there, i think i've finally figured out what i've been trying to say. :)
hope that helped from a kid's perspective. but, holy cow, that 'balancing' issue will have me stumped until the day I die, i'm sure.

love you cats -
klep

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

well said. and i was confused for a minute, because i also think of myself as the cleveland cat, and i knew i hadn't typed that. or at least, I didn't remember it.
i am very excited about the prospect of getting together, but i have a dilemna: i can't travel to cinci between now and my due date, and i don't know that i'll be up to driving me and my 2 one-year olds and very new newborn just after my due date (and if it's a c-section, i won't even be allowed to drive for 2 weeks.) there is a possibility that i might be able to get my friend deanna (liz and klep- you remember deanna?) to drive me, but then i would be adding another member to our party. i've always thought of her as my ohio friend who would've been a cat if she'd come to jbc, but i don't know how you all would feel about a stranger in the mix. i just don't know how to make it work, otherwise, though. you know?
-fulty